Warm Bodies (2013)

This right here is a movie with zombies. If you’re on a date and your partner is boring as hell, might as well take them watch this. If they go out of the cinema and say it’s the best movie ever, dump them. If they go: That was average, kind of stupid in more than enough parts (why are there doors on top of a dome?) and cliché in others but not horrible all around, could have been so much better, now I think you have found a partner for the rest of your life (because they’d be right).Warm Bodies (2013)

Julie (Teresa Palmer) is a whore (not the actress, her character) though with more facial expressions than Bella. Several days have passed since her boyfriend (Dave Franco) passed away by being eaten by zombies and she has fun, listens to music, laughs and falls in love with someone else. That is a whore, my friends.  When Miss-Goody-Two-shoes finds out that the zombie ate her ex, she just turns her back on him.

R (Nicholas Hoult – nice to see him making it big in Hollywood) is a zombie and his internal dialogue is not that bad, probably taken from the book. The real surprise is Rob Corddry, whom I really like and admire. He doesn’t say much but he’s still funny. John Malkovich is here what Donald Sutherland is for The Hunger Games (2012) , a good actor playing the unidimensional deluded-paranoid “president” so  that maybe some other people than 15 year olds go watch the movie.

When the googly-eyed girl (Analeigh Tipton) is asked what she dreams of doing she says nursing, not becoming a doctor, but a nurse as she dreams of, one day, curing the poor zombie people. Who ever dreams of becoming a nurse? Doesn’t it go like: I want to be a doctor but I’m not that good at kissing ass or remembering things so I’d better become a nurse. Moreover, she doesn’t know what “exhume” means and the two blond pretty people who are her friends help her poor soul out by explaining it to her.

Oh, and the fact that zombies can change back and the Bonies are too far to come back and they deserve to die is so messed up of an idea. Remember in Shaun of the Dead (2004) when Nick Frost became a zombie but they still kept him alive even if he couldn’t have been brought back to human form? If we were to extrapolate the idea that Warm Bodies teaches us, we should kill the mentally ill, the disabled and old people, which I don’t know if anyone can stomach.

It’s a kind of film where love, or whatever they take for love, conquers all. It’s not Shaun of the Dead but it’s a nice touch to the genre. The conclusion is this: if your life partner loves Twilight, take them to see this because taking them to see an actual good movie might make body develop Lupus. Furthermore, they might want to be a nurse and not Kin Kardashian. The thing is that I feel kind of bad after seeing this movie because it could have been so much more because the concept is really cool, but then the coolness stops and it becomes annoying, like trying to restore the faith in humanity. I was like ‘Movie, why are you so bad?’


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